Gratitude.

Lately I've been grateful for the following....  

• Weekend trips away from this heat...2 hour drive and the temps drop 30 degrees.

• Harrison being back in school and loving it.  {Last year was a constant battle and he cried every day at drop off}.

• Davis' speech improving every day.  I love hearing his sweet little voice.

• My "free" time at the end of the day when kids are asleep.  It's S A C R E D.

• Amazon Prime.  It seriously makes me life 30% easier.

Coming back...

Family picture taken September 2012

Ummm....in case anyone is still around...I'm coming back to blogging.  A lot has happened in the past two years and this just wasn't a priority for me to keep up with.  However, a nagging pull kept leaning me back here to express, write and share my life happenings for history's sake.  Last summer we lost ALL our pictures from our computer due to our hard drive breaking.  I'm still shocked and confused by the whole thing, but I was comforted to know there were pictures here that I could refer to of my first born's initial 2 years of life.  God forbid, anything like that should happen again, I want to have a place with memories and pictures for my family.

Now with two boys in my life, days are a little crazier, but a lot more fun too.  Davis joined our family on October 28, 2011, after I was on 3 months of bed rest with very low amniotic fluid.  You would think that would've been a great time to blog, but I was just trying to get through each day without freaking out...plus I had a lot of tv to watch.

Harrison is fastly approaching 5 and Davis is coming up on 2.  Memories are unfolding every day around here and I want to remember every minute of the good, bad and the ugly.

Happy to be here again.

Here's to Repeats.

We found out today that we are having another boy!  Harrison is beyond excited for a little brother and I'm warming up to the idea of having 2 boys running around this house.  What I've always loved about brothers is the sense of humor that can develop between them, as well as the fascination of watching them become totally different people.  I've watched Harrison become who he is and now I'm excited to see who this new little guy is going to be.

We are feeling so grateful that all is well and we are adding a new soul to our family.

 ♥

Blue Skies Again...

Blue skies have returned in my life, and I'm ecstatic to report that we will be having another baby in the Fall.  It's been a long road to get here and, after 2 miscarriages last year, I was sad and broken.  I longed to have another pregnancy, and would ache inside every time another friend would announce that they were pregnant.  I kept trusting a Higher Power and knew that it would happen when it was right...I do believe this wholeheartedly now.  The timing of all this makes so much more sense for my family then had it happened earlier.  I'm so lucky to have so many loving friends supporting me during this time, after many doctors appointments, procedures and tests they kept me hopeful and strong.  I'm so grateful.

I have had several ultrasounds and have been able to see this amazing little person forming from week to week.  Unfortunately when my Dr. tried to look for the gender last week, there were some crossed legs in the way.  We have about 3 more weeks until we can find out...and I'm dying to know!  I feel exactly the same as I did with Harrison so we'll see....

True Love...

I've never known love like that of being a mother.  Having a 2 year old is all consuming and I'm just realizing it's been about a month since I've been on this blog {or most others for that matter}.  The days all seem to run together like watercolors on paper, and I catch my breath and realize a month has passed.  

All I know this Valentine's Day is that God blessed me with the most amazing, funny, colorful child...who I secretly love is strong willed and slightly challenging.  It means he'll be somebody important someday.  He owns my heart and today out of the blue he told me, "Mom, you have beautiful hair"....I melted. 

He is obsessed with being a cowboy right now, so yesterday he ran around the backyard acting crazy.  These are the best memories...

Happy Valentine's Day



Gratitude.

Here is what I'm feeling happy about lately...

• A few days of 75 degree weather so we can be outside playing in the grass.
• Having my 2 year old son tell me that I look beautiful {does he really have to grow up and leave someday?}
• Good friends to share this journey of life with...close by and far away.
• Trader Joes.  I love this store so much for so many reasons.
• A holiday today that allows my husband to be home from work with us.

New Year.

I'm not really sad at all to say goodbye to 2010.  It was filled with ups and downs, a lot of looking inside and pushing myself to grow as a person.  It was hard, but probably a time in my life when God was preparing me for other things.  I have high hopes for 2011...here are just a few things on my list.

• Read more books.
• Go out with friends more often.
• Simplify my life {clear out clutter and not add more}.
• Grow my family.
• Make exercise a top priority.
• Eat to feed my body nutrition, not junk it up with sugar.
• Turn off the TV and listen to music.
• Wear all my "good" clothes and get rid of everything else.
• Do charity work.
• Get more sleep.
• Meditate.
• Be happy with small accomplishments.
• Love myself more.

Happy brand new 2011.

Image found here.

My Glass is Full...

my amazing birthday cake on a vintage plate....i ate the whole thing.

My birthday was a week ago.  The days leading up to my birthday had me in a awkward state.  In my infinite wisdom of 31 (4 years ago), I made all these goals to be accomplished by the time I was 35 (present).  Since I'm not fluent in French, I don't have a gaggle of kids and I'm not the weight I was at 29...I got depressed. 

Then the actual day came, and I was reminded how truly lucky I am.  This year has tested my faith a little, and I've had to breathe and remind myself that I'm exactly where I am supposed to be.  I'm sick of beating myself up because I'm not everything I wish I was, but instead want to spend the next year focusing on everything I am...

I still have hopes for what 35 brings, but accept my wonderful life for what it currently is:  raising a two year old, maintaining a marriage, trying to be healthy, trying to be authentic and managing a home.  I'm a blessed girl and sometimes I forget to sit back and enjoy what is right in front of me.

Here's to a wonderful 35.

Gratitude.

In the spirit of Thanksgiving, here is what I'm currently grateful for....

1.  Christmas music playing on 99.9 already.  There is singing on every car ride and Harrison loves it!

2.  Having so many wonderful friends with boys the same age as my own....it's like a little football team.

3.  A husband who still opens the car door for me.

4.  Having a royal wedding to obsess over.

5.  The clarity and courage to see things for what they are, and trust the process of this amazing ride called life.

Happy Thanksgiving.



The Spades.

I just stumbled upon these photographs of Andy and Kate Spade's home recently.  I've been obsessed with her from a young age, and when I worked at the store, I had the extreme pleasure of meeting her a couple of times.  They are the coolest, nicest, most stylish people you can ever imagine meeting.  These photos just confirm how laid back and hip they really are.

Go here to see the rest....

Catching Up...

image from paul ferney's cake collection.  I'm obsessed.

This blog is a little bit like my long distance friendships.  I think about them all the time and have so much to say, but finding the time to actually sit down and chat is difficult.  So, we'll just have to do what Marissa and I do and cover it all in segments. 

Right now I'm in the throes of planning Harrison's birthday party.  He will be 2 years old and it's so much fun to see him get excited about having a party.  Of course I've bitten off more than I can chew (as usual) and am feeling a little stressed.  Hopefully by the time he's 5, I'll have learned to just grab a cake from costco and call it a party.

In other news, I've sworn off sweets (mostly) and did a 2 1/2 week detox which granted me a 10 pound weight loss.  I'm so happy and feel great.  I still have little bites now and then, but my cravings are totally under control.

It officially feels like Fall here, and this morning I had to wear a sweatshirt.  Yippeee!

Seeing a light at the end of the tunnel.

It rained today.  I told myself that I wasn't going to write again until it cooled down because I had nothing positive to say.  The heat and sunshine were making me feel the way your mouth feels after a trip to the dentist.  Your tongue is dry and numb and you can't wait for all the necessary sensations to come flooding back.  That's how I have felt lately.  It hasn't looked pretty, so I've been quite.

Today I stood in my backyard with an umbrella and watched rain water all my plants and I inhaled the smell of wet pavement and a cleansed soul.  Plus, I also saw a whole barrel of white pumpkins at Trader Joes today...my insides started to tingle.  I'm already excited for the first day I can wear my Virginia Johnson shawl around my neck for warmth (maybe November?), but for now....

Happy October.  I couldn't be happier you are here.

Is Summer Over?

How did it get to be September 7th?  Does this mean that Fall is around the corner and Summer is tip toeing out of the picture?  I'm craving crisp air and a slight breeze.  I have confidence that September will deliver...even if it's 9:00 at night {I'm a night owl anyway}.

Anyway, this video makes me happy.  Sometimes I love my cute little sidekick, and other times, I miss solitude and quiet.

Healthy Deodorant.

Here is my new favorite thing.  I live in Phoenix, Arizona where right now it's about 106 degrees {give or take} during the day with around 40-50% humidity.  Clearly it's Dante's Inferno.  Luckily I found this incredible all natural deodorant by Lavanila.  It comes in a few different vanilla scents, but I've been using the plain vanilla {kind of smells like a clean baby} and am loving it!  It really is amazing and I love that I don't have to think twice about what's inside. 

Can only be purchased on the website or Sephora.  It's a little pricey for deodorant, but totally worth it... I have a nose like a bloodhound and become crazy over unpleasant smells.

Ending My Sabbatical.

I'm back from my spontaneous sabbatical where I gave myself time to regroup and recharge.  I've been feeling quite down the past few months, and just had enough in me to care for the important things.  I've been sad and very reflective lately.  I truly do trust God's plan, but faith is never without doubt and worry.  I've been blindsided a few times now, and the ground is feeling quite shaky.  However, I march on believing...

Luckily, God gave me a gem of a first born to get me through the heartache.  Harrison is so full of personality, fun and character that he keeps me on my toes and full of smiles. He is not without his challenges, but I'm so grateful he is mine, and know his strong personality will show up as something incredible someday. 

We just returned from an amazing vacation in Laguna Beach where my soul was refreshed by the ocean air and change of scenery.  It's a little unfair to come home to Phoenix in August, but I'll make the best of it.

                      

In the Trenches and Dreaming of Picnic Baskets...

The past few weeks have consisted of a sick baby, a sick me, broken television, broken refrigerator, mom and dad both out of town, a husband obsessed with fantasy baseball and endless hours of thomas the train playing on the dvd player.   

Sometimes I see a bicycle picnic basket like this one, and I dream of living in a big urban city and getting away from it all.  I'd fill my basket with duck and decanter type sandwiches, gourmet chips and perfectly cold diet coke.  I'd peddle to a nearby park, sit under a big tree and read magazines till my heart's content.

Don't get me wrong...my little one owns my heart, but a little peace and quiet is attractive.  Some days while I'm running around "in the trenches", as I like to call it, I get a glimpse of who I was before I became a mother and I miss that creative, funny, carefree girl.  I know she'll be back one day and until then...I'll eat sandwiches with my miniature sidekick and treasure the days with him...quiet or not.

If anyone really wants this bicycle basket, it and many other goodies, are at kate spade's sample sale

Gratitude.

Oh...what a week it's been.  J. has been out of town which means I've been a one man show with a crazy 18 month old.  It's been tantrum after tantrum, he threw a toy at our television {it's broke}, and today he froze all the registers at Safeway by hitting every button imaginable on the credit card machine.  It's time to be grateful....

1.  The way Harrison's eyelashes look in the bath...clumped together and beautiful.

2.  A husband who is involved and gives me a daily break {I've really noticed in his absence}.

3.  Sex and the City 2

4.  School is out...which means I have more friends to play with this summer.

5.  The swing that hangs from a tree in our backyard.  It's one of the only things that endlessly entertains Harrison.

My husband is home....happy weekend.

Time to Write...

I haven't been here for a while...

Mothers Day was lovely and I felt blessed from head to toe.  Then life handed me an unexpected curve ball and since then I've been processing, healing and looking ahead.  Too often I forget that I have much less control than I realize.  I try to plan, orchestrate and dictate how things will be.  Then a Higher Power steps in and reminds me that it's really not up to me at all.

I was pregnant...and now I'm not.  I didn't see it coming and was sad and confused.  I was so grateful that it happened early and that I already have Harrison.  I'm trusting the process and know there was a reason unbeknownst to me.  Now I'm finding the positive and opening myself up for the divine plan and not my own.  God brought me amazing Harrison and I know His plan will amaze me again...

My Version of Motherhood.

Happiness in the backseat with sunglasses and sippy cup.

God has blessed me with the most happy, jovial, outgoing, fun and energetic first child. It's no surprise, really. I often need the lesson that he is here to teach me. He made me a mother and I never take this job for granted. I'm honored every day to be his side kick, and thank God every night that I get to be Harrison's mom.

I think every mother out there has her own style of raising her children. It's interesting to see how my friends do things differently than I would, and what their styles teach me. For me motherhood means....

• Caring less about a messy house and more about a happy child {I wish I could be better about cleaning up...but I'm just not}.
• Affection, affection, affection.
• Figuring out what makes them tick and nurturing their strengths.
• Modeling behavior that I want them to emulate someday.
• Letting them know that, above all else, they are the greatest miracle of my life.
• Constant "I love yous" and "I'm proud of yous" go a long way....every child wants their parent's approval.
• Taking comfort in knowing that "you reap what you sow" and that one day all this hard work will come back to you in the form of a loving, good, happy adult.

Here is a little clip of a typical afternoon moment.  The best laugh in the world happening over dropping a little wooden pig on the ground while standing on a step stool...

Happy Mothers Day.

May Day.

Today is the first day of May and we have a few more days of lovely weather before it's gone.  I'm going to spend the day going to a Farmer's Market, picking out some jewelry I won last weekend, eating sandwiches, pushing my little one in a swing, working outside on projects and riding my bike.

Happy May Day.