Blissful Life

Here's to Repeats.

2011-06-07T22:51:00.001-07:00

We found out today that we are having another boy! Harrison is beyond excited for a little brother and I'm warming up to the idea of having 2 boys running around this house. What I've always loved about brothers is the sense of humor that can develop between them, as well as the fascination of watching them become totally different people. I've watched Harrison become who he is and now I'm excited to see who this new little guy is going to be.

We are feeling so grateful that all is well and we are adding a new soul to our family.

♥

Blue Skies Again...

2011-05-17T17:30:00.007-07:00

Blue skies have returned in my life, and I'm ecstatic to report that we will be having another baby in the Fall. It's been a long road to get here and, after 2 miscarriages last year, I was sad and broken. I longed to have another pregnancy, and would ache inside every time another friend would announce that they were pregnant. I kept trusting a Higher Power and knew that it would happen when it was right...I do believe this wholeheartedly now. The timing of all this makes so much more sense for my family then had it happened earlier. I'm so lucky to have so many loving friends supporting me during this time, after many doctors appointments, procedures and tests they kept me hopeful and strong. I'm so grateful.

I have had several ultrasounds and have been able to see this amazing little person forming from week to week. Unfortunately when my Dr. tried to look for the gender last week, there were some crossed legs in the way. We have about 3 more weeks until we can find out...and I'm dying to know! I feel exactly the same as I did with Harrison so we'll see....

True Love...

2011-02-14T14:54:00.000-07:00

I've never known love like that of being a mother. Having a 2 year old is all consuming and I'm just realizing it's been about a month since I've been on this blog {or most others for that matter}. The days all seem to run together like watercolors on paper, and I catch my breath and realize a month has passed.

All I know this Valentine's Day is that God blessed me with the most amazing, funny, colorful child...who I secretly love is strong willed and slightly challenging. It means he'll be somebody important someday. He owns my heart and today out of the blue he told me, "Mom, you have beautiful hair"....I melted.

He is obsessed with being a cowboy right now, so yesterday he ran around the backyard acting crazy. These are the best memories...

Happy Valentine's Day

Gratitude.

2011-01-17T00:00:00.011-07:00

Here is what I'm feeling happy about lately...

A few days of 75 degree weather so we can be outside playing in the grass.
Having my 2 year old son tell me that I look beautiful {does he really have to grow up and leave someday?}
Good friends to share this journey of life with...close by and far away.
Trader Joes. I love this store so much for so many reasons.
A holiday today that allows my husband to be home from work with us.

New Year.

2011-01-03T00:00:00.000-07:00

I'm not really sad at all to say goodbye to 2010. It was filled with ups and downs, a lot of looking inside and pushing myself to grow as a person. It was hard, but probably a time in my life when God was preparing me for other things. I have high hopes for 2011...here are just a few things on my list.

Read more books.
Go out with friends more often.
Simplify my life {clear out clutter and not add more}.
Grow my family.
Make exercise a top priority.
Eat to feed my body nutrition, not junk it up with sugar.
Turn off the TV and listen to music.
Wear all my "good" clothes and get rid of everything else.
Do charity work.
Get more sleep.
Meditate.
Be happy with small accomplishments.
Love myself more.

Happy brand new 2011.

Image found here.

My Glass is Full...

2010-12-19T11:58:00.032-07:00

my amazing birthday cake on a vintage plate....i ate the whole thing.

My birthday was a week ago. The days leading up to my birthday had me in a awkward state. In my infinite wisdom of 31 (4 years ago), I made all these goals to be accomplished by the time I was 35 (present). Since I'm not fluent in French, I don't have a gaggle of kids and I'm not the weight I was at 29...I got depressed.

Then the actual day came, and I was reminded how truly lucky I am. This year has tested my faith a little, and I've had to breathe and remind myself that I'm exactly where I am supposed to be. I'm sick of beating myself up because I'm not everything I wish I was, but instead want to spend the next year focusing on everything I am...

I still have hopes for what 35 brings, but accept my wonderful life for what it currently is: raising a two year old, maintaining a marriage, trying to be healthy, trying to be authentic and managing a home. I'm a blessed girl and sometimes I forget to sit back and enjoy what is right in front of me.

Here's to a wonderful 35.

Gratitude.

2010-11-24T22:34:00.005-07:00

In the spirit of Thanksgiving, here is what I'm currently grateful for....

1. Christmas music playing on 99.9 already. There is singing on every car ride and Harrison loves it!

2. Having so many wonderful friends with boys the same age as my own....it's like a little football team.

3. A husband who still opens the car door for me.

4. Having a royal wedding to obsess over.

5. The clarity and courage to see things for what they are, and trust the process of this amazing ride called life.

Happy Thanksgiving.

The Spades.

2010-11-22T14:41:00.000-07:00

I just stumbled upon these photographs of Andy and Kate Spade's home recently. I've been obsessed with her from a young age, and when I worked at the store, I had the extreme pleasure of meeting her a couple of times. They are the coolest, nicest, most stylish people you can ever imagine meeting. These photos just confirm how laid back and hip they really are.

Go here to see the rest....

Catching Up...

2010-11-09T14:26:00.001-07:00

image from paul ferney's cake collection. I'm obsessed.

This blog is a little bit like my long distance friendships. I think about them all the time and have so much to say, but finding the time to actually sit down and chat is difficult. So, we'll just have to do what Marissa and I do and cover it all in segments.

Right now I'm in the throes of planning Harrison's birthday party. He will be 2 years old and it's so much fun to see him get excited about having a party. Of course I've bitten off more than I can chew (as usual) and am feeling a little stressed. Hopefully by the time he's 5, I'll have learned to just grab a cake from costco and call it a party.

In other news, I've sworn off sweets (mostly) and did a 2 1/2 week detox which granted me a 10 pound weight loss. I'm so happy and feel great. I still have little bites now and then, but my cravings are totally under control.

It officially feels like Fall here, and this morning I had to wear a sweatshirt. Yippeee!

Seeing a light at the end of the tunnel.

2010-10-04T00:12:00.001-07:00

It rained today. I told myself that I wasn't going to write again until it cooled down because I had nothing positive to say. The heat and sunshine were making me feel the way your mouth feels after a trip to the dentist. Your tongue is dry and numb and you can't wait for all the necessary sensations to come flooding back. That's how I have felt lately. It hasn't looked pretty, so I've been quite.

Today I stood in my backyard with an umbrella and watched rain water all my plants and I inhaled the smell of wet pavement and a cleansed soul. Plus, I also saw a whole barrel of white pumpkins at Trader Joes today...my insides started to tingle. I'm already excited for the first day I can wear my Virginia Johnson shawl around my neck for warmth (maybe November?), but for now....

Happy October. I couldn't be happier you are here.

Is Summer Over?

2010-09-06T23:58:00.003-07:00

How did it get to be September 7th? Does this mean that Fall is around the corner and Summer is tip toeing out of the picture? I'm craving crisp air and a slight breeze. I have confidence that September will deliver...even if it's 9:00 at night {I'm a night owl anyway}.

Anyway, this video makes me happy. Sometimes I love my cute little sidekick, and other times, I miss solitude and quiet.

Healthy Deodorant.

2010-08-16T23:56:00.005-07:00

Here is my new favorite thing. I live in Phoenix, Arizona where right now it's about 106 degrees {give or take} during the day with around 40-50% humidity. Clearly it's Dante's Inferno. Luckily I found this incredible all natural deodorant by Lavanila. It comes in a few different vanilla scents, but I've been using the plain vanilla {kind of smells like a clean baby} and am loving it! It really is amazing and I love that I don't have to think twice about what's inside.

Can only be purchased on the website or Sephora. It's a little pricey for deodorant, but totally worth it... I have a nose like a bloodhound and become crazy over unpleasant smells.

Ending My Sabbatical.

2010-08-09T13:46:00.000-07:00

I'm back from my spontaneous sabbatical where I gave myself time to regroup and recharge. I've been feeling quite down the past few months, and just had enough in me to care for the important things. I've been sad and very reflective lately. I truly do trust God's plan, but faith is never without doubt and worry. I've been blindsided a few times now, and the ground is feeling quite shaky. However, I march on believing...

Luckily, God gave me a gem of a first born to get me through the heartache. Harrison is so full of personality, fun and character that he keeps me on my toes and full of smiles. He is not without his challenges, but I'm so grateful he is mine, and know his strong personality will show up as something incredible someday.

We just returned from an amazing vacation in Laguna Beach where my soul was refreshed by the ocean air and change of scenery. It's a little unfair to come home to Phoenix in August, but I'll make the best of it.

In the Trenches and Dreaming of Picnic Baskets...

2010-06-15T22:54:00.003-07:00

The past few weeks have consisted of a sick baby, a sick me, broken television, broken refrigerator, mom and dad both out of town, a husband obsessed with fantasy baseball and endless hours of thomas the train playing on the dvd player.

Sometimes I see a bicycle picnic basket like this one, and I dream of living in a big urban city and getting away from it all. I'd fill my basket with duck and decanter type sandwiches, gourmet chips and perfectly cold diet coke. I'd peddle to a nearby park, sit under a big tree and read magazines till my heart's content.

Don't get me wrong...my little one owns my heart, but a little peace and quiet is attractive. Some days while I'm running around "in the trenches", as I like to call it, I get a glimpse of who I was before I became a mother and I miss that creative, funny, carefree girl. I know she'll be back one day and until then...I'll eat sandwiches with my miniature sidekick and treasure the days with him...quiet or not.

If anyone really wants this bicycle basket, it and many other goodies, are at kate spade's sample sale

Gratitude.

2010-05-28T00:00:00.000-07:00

Oh...what a week it's been. J. has been out of town which means I've been a one man show with a crazy 18 month old. It's been tantrum after tantrum, he threw a toy at our television {it's broke}, and today he froze all the registers at Safeway by hitting every button imaginable on the credit card machine. It's time to be grateful....

1. The way Harrison's eyelashes look in the bath...clumped together and beautiful.

2. A husband who is involved and gives me a daily break {I've really noticed in his absence}.

3. Sex and the City 2

4. School is out...which means I have more friends to play with this summer.

5. The swing that hangs from a tree in our backyard. It's one of the only things that endlessly entertains Harrison.

My husband is home....happy weekend.

Time to Write...

2010-05-24T13:39:00.001-07:00

I haven't been here for a while...

Mothers Day was lovely and I felt blessed from head to toe. Then life handed me an unexpected curve ball and since then I've been processing, healing and looking ahead. Too often I forget that I have much less control than I realize. I try to plan, orchestrate and dictate how things will be. Then a Higher Power steps in and reminds me that it's really not up to me at all.

I was pregnant...and now I'm not. I didn't see it coming and was sad and confused. I was so grateful that it happened early and that I already have Harrison. I'm trusting the process and know there was a reason unbeknownst to me. Now I'm finding the positive and opening myself up for the divine plan and not my own. God brought me amazing Harrison and I know His plan will amaze me again...

My Version of Motherhood.

2010-05-09T00:00:00.001-07:00

Happiness in the backseat with sunglasses and sippy cup.

God has blessed me with the most happy, jovial, outgoing, fun and energetic first child. It's no surprise, really. I often need the lesson that he is here to teach me. He made me a mother and I never take this job for granted. I'm honored every day to be his side kick, and thank God every night that I get to be Harrison's mom.

I think every mother out there has her own style of raising her children. It's interesting to see how my friends do things differently than I would, and what their styles teach me. For me motherhood means....

Caring less about a messy house and more about a happy child {I wish I could be better about cleaning up...but I'm just not}.
Affection, affection, affection.
Figuring out what makes them tick and nurturing their strengths.
Modeling behavior that I want them to emulate someday.
Letting them know that, above all else, they are the greatest miracle of my life.
Constant "I love yous" and "I'm proud of yous" go a long way....every child wants their parent's approval.
Taking comfort in knowing that "you reap what you sow" and that one day all this hard work will come back to you in the form of a loving, good, happy adult.

Here is a little clip of a typical afternoon moment. The best laugh in the world happening over dropping a little wooden pig on the ground while standing on a step stool...

Happy Mothers Day.

May Day.

2010-05-01T10:32:00.000-07:00

Today is the first day of May and we have a few more days of lovely weather before it's gone. I'm going to spend the day going to a Farmer's Market, picking out some jewelry I won last weekend, eating sandwiches, pushing my little one in a swing, working outside on projects and riding my bike.

Happy May Day.

Project Number One.

2010-04-27T23:27:00.004-07:00

Last week I took on the task of transforming a pair of unfinished wood kid's adirondack chairs. It was for a fundraiser of a group I belong to and the event was Saturday night. I decided to make them gender neutral, but fun enough to be interesting. I was so nervous and stressed over every little detail. They ended up being a big hit and went home for the maximum bid {$200}! I was pleased as punch...

This week I'm working on the little table and chairs for Harrison...pictures to follow.

Note: If you don't live in Arizona but have been hearing the newsworthy buzz of a law passed Friday. Please know that I'm embarrassed and share the view of mayor Phil Gordon as read here.

Saving the earth...and other projects.

2010-04-22T00:35:00.007-07:00

Today is Earth Day and I'm going to do my part to help make this a better place for my son and his friends to live. I always recycle, turn off running water, nurture our 80 year old citrus trees and always plant something new for today's purpose. The earth is such a beautiful place to exist...we can all do a little something extra to show it our love.

I've been a busy little bee this week refinishing and painting furniture. I'm finally transforming a little table set that I bought for Harrison a month ago. I'm also painting some kid's adirondack chairs for a fundraiser I'm attending on Saturday. I've been in heaven hanging out in the garage painting, while in a creative zone... listening to my own thoughts, as well as the sounds of the neighborhood {barking dogs, bus doors opening and closing, runners, kids on bikes}. Pictures will appear as soon as I'm finished.

Enjoy the Earth today...

photo from flickr

Spending Time...

2010-04-14T00:15:00.006-07:00

I've been a little out of touch lately. In my defense, I've been spending my free time playing outside, attempting to organize my house, laundry, walking by the local movie set, flipping through magazines, pushing Harrison in the swing & eating popsicles. Spring in Arizona is nothing short of sublime...

Unfortunately, the past few days we've had to start the air conditioning and turn all the fans on...it's getting warmer and warmer. Which means very soon, playing outside will be merely a dream and we'll all suffer from cabin fever. I'm getting anxiety just thinking about it.

Luckily, I can be entertained by a show I've been talking about since last September. 9 By Design premiered last night and it was everything I hoped it be...and more. I'm amazed at these talented and beautiful people with seven happy kids running around. I will be glued to my TV every Tuesday night from here on out. They are so hip and stylish, I can hardly stand it.

April.

2010-04-01T00:08:00.009-07:00

Oh...what a few weeks it's been around here. Last week was one of the most exhausting, challenging weeks I remember having in a long time. I now have a child who screams and cries {full on tantrums} when he doesn't get what he wants, something is taken away from him, or I just can't understand him. It's INSANE and there was a day last week that I thought might put me over the edge. I'm trying to hold my ground as the one in control, but I have found myself tossing a toy into the shopping cart just so I could finish my trip in peace. What happened to that sweet baby that cooed and cuddled?

In other news, our little neighborhood has turned Hollywood! Will Ferrell is shooting a movie two streets away called, Everything Must Go. There are cars lining the streets, a crane holding the camera while they shoot scenes and security everywhere. Today Harrison and I walked over there, and Will Ferrell was being brought to the set right in front of us. They'll be filming here for another 6 weeks for any friends that want to come and see the action.

Today is the beginning of April and that means the last month or so of playing outside, evening walks at 5:00 and play dates at the park. I'm going to try and soak up every minute of it...

Happy April.

Cartwheels.

2010-03-22T00:24:00.005-07:00

In an effort to amuse my son last night, I did a cartwheel in the backyard before dinner. I excitedly kicked off my flip flops, walked into the grass and began with both hands on the cool ground. He squealed with laughter and I felt so happy and free....until I landed and the pain radiating through my leg told me that I wasn't 12 years old anymore.

It got me thinking of how much I miss being 12 years old. Unfortunately when I was young, I couldn't wait to be where I am now...older. It so sad to think of all the time I wasted, wishing to be an adult. The wonderful thing about having children is that you get to relive what you didn't appreciate the first time around. Luckily I have the perfect kid to bring out the fun in me.

Here's to a wonderful week of practicing cartwheels....

Charlie.

2010-03-18T23:24:00.018-07:00

One of the thousands of reasons why I love where I live....today the neighborhood celebrated Charlie the Horse's 7th birthday. In Arcadia many horse properties were grandfathered in, so we still have the luxury of petting a horse or two on an evening walk. The owner had a barrel of apples, molasses and oats to dip carrots, and a "happy birthday" carrot cake for everyone. I've never seen such a happy horse.

The turn out was incredible and everyone had fun brushing, petting and feeding the horse {as well as the goats & pig}. Harrison and I ate our cake and walked home in a cool breeze...

...what a life.

My Job.

2010-03-15T22:12:00.007-07:00

Just another day at the "office"

Reason why I love my job....

"Work" trips usually include parks, shopping malls, museums and friend's houses.
Meltdowns can be alleviated with a few animal crackers.
People are always willing to fill in for me.
I usually don't "clock in" until 8:00 am.
Naps are encouraged.
I don't get in trouble for talking too much or surfing the internet.
The pay isn't monetary but kisses, smiles and hugs keep me going.
I get a lot of support from other "departments" {friends, family, dr's, etc...}
Based on my title, I get to make life changing decisions.
My boss is very demanding, but every day he teaches me how to laugh and have fun.

Today was a challenging day in my role, so I needed a gentle reminder of just how
wonderful I really have it.

Gratitude.

2010-03-12T14:49:00.003-07:00

In an effort to graciously accept life's blessings, here is what I'm feeling grateful for right now...

I get to stay home and raise Harrison...nothing is more valuable to me than spending my days with the greatest miracle I've ever known.
I'm pretty much off sugar and feel much more balanced and happy.
I scored the most adorable kids table and chairs at an antique store for $30. I'm going to paint it and make it look like something I would have bought for $200 (will post pictures when done).
My husband surprised me with tickets to see one of my favorites...Conan.
I get to live in Arizona during Springtime.

Happy Weekend.

Puddle Jumping.

2010-03-09T23:12:00.002-07:00

For an Arizona native, few things are as wonderful as rain. Today as we left the grocery store, it started pouring. I put Harrison's hood up and we ran {laughing} all the way to the car. When we got home he took off in the front yard to splash and experience the rain.

It was a wonderful Tuesday treat...

Ordinary Days...

2010-03-04T21:47:00.001-07:00

I will watch this everyday that I'm feeling overwhelmed, frustrated, worried or wishing it was already bedtime at 9 am...and be grateful for right now.

Hello March.

2010-03-02T10:01:00.000-07:00

I like March. It's filled with flowers, days playing outside, birthdays of people I love, spring cleaning and a buzz around our spot on the map with many Spring Training visitors. I'm determined to edit my closet and rid myself of the burden of wearing things that make me feel anything short of happy. I also think it's time to admit that I'm officially a size 8.5 and clear out all size 8 shoes {boo}.

I feel that March will be filled with happy and refreshing changes. I'm going to...

Eat more vegetables.
Have picnics in the backyard.
Start wearing the things I keep holding on to for a special occasion.
Go to bed earlier.
Excercise.
Laugh more.
Fight with my husband less.
Eat less sugar {as a Catholic I gave this up for Lent, so I'm doing pretty good so far}.
Do something everyday that pushes me out of my comfort zone.
Make my bed.
Be on time.

Hello March.

Validation.

2010-02-28T21:37:00.012-07:00

Today we all made a trip to Costco. Usually it's just Harrison and I, so J. was a spectator to the events that take place when you bring a 15 month old Costco shopping. Harrison literally whined the whole time, tried to jump out of the cart, cried when he couldn't hold the babybel cheese, ran zig zags through the aisles and then threw his sippy cup on the ground as I'm trying to pay....it was a bad trip.

On our way out, J. was trying to reprimand Harrison for something and I said, "Can you believe that I usually have to do this by myself?" to which he replied, "I have a lot of respect for you. Sometimes I think it would be easier to go to Iraq and fight a war than to do what you do every day". I smiled and said "thank you". It was complete validation.

Snow Dreaming.

2010-02-19T15:49:00.001-07:00

I've got Olympic fever again. This time I keep dreaming that I could switch places with Hannah Teter or Gretchen Bleiler to see what it would feel like to fly around that halfpipe. I can't even ski, let alone snowboard, so I love to imagine for a moment the feeling of the wind on their faces as they glide over snow.

It seems like such a male oriented sport, so to see these feminine girls winning medals at it is so inspiring. Instead I'm off to clean the kitchen...

Happy Weekend.

Lucky...

2010-02-17T15:53:00.006-07:00

I was one lucky girl to have these two as my valentines this year. As usual, J. did not dissappoint, and I found this adorable arrangement on top of the stove when I got home from running some errands {he knows how much I love hot pink roses}. I also got a few nice additions to my wardrobe from one of my favorite stores. He's so incredible.

I just kept thinking how I can't believe that a year ago this...

...has now turned into this little "man" flirting with girls at The Farm* {he even put his arm around her...I was dying!}.

*The Farm at South Mountain is one of my favorite places in Phoenix. It's lovely and if you live here and have never been...you must plan a trip!

Happy Day.

2010-02-12T00:27:00.008-07:00

Music is a big deal to me and Harrison has kept the ball rolling with his love for it, as well. We usually have Nick Jr. {formally Noggin} on in the morning during breakfast. When this video sporadically comes on between cartoons, I stop whatever I'm doing and sing it with Harrison. I love this song to begin with, and the video they made to go with it...makes it just precious.

I know that Valentine's Day is geared towards romantic love, but this year I can't help but reflect on the unwavering love between parent and child. I honestly never knew love the way I do now with Harrison. It's the most unselfish, unconditional, unbreakable love I've ever known. There is nothing he could ever do to make me stop. I'll be spending my weekend kissing him over and over...

Happy Valentine's Day ♥

This May Seem Strange...

2010-02-10T16:47:00.000-07:00

...but if I had the money {and a 3 car garage} I'd immediately buy a Jeep Wagoneer from the 70's and drive with the windows down every day in the Spring.

They are my latest obsession. The thought of driving one just makes me feel happy.

Wish List.

2010-02-06T01:46:00.002-07:00

Sometimes I read blogs and start to feel bummed out and inadequate...

I wish I could be a size 2 and opt to wake up early to run, then have a perfectly organized beautiful home, make all my own stationery on a letterpress, buy chairs at thrift stores and recover them myself, and prepare gloriously delicious meals for my family.

Instead I struggle with my weight daily, organizing my house feels like trying to speak Portuguese, can't even get thank you notes written, fondly remember my days of thrift store shopping, and usually rely on Amy to provide us with dinners.

I happily think of this post by cjane and instantly feel better. There will be plenty of time for all those things when my season changes {and I'm not working for a one year old all day long}.

Happy Weekend.

{photo: cig harvey}

In the Air...

2010-02-02T22:57:00.010-07:00

February so far has been perfectly wonderful. As if he received some secret Valentine message, yesterday my son started wrapping his little arms around my neck and squeezing me tightly. He'll stop playing, look for me and run over to hug me. He's been playing with my earrings {gently} and even brushed the hair out of my face as we were playing last night. I'm officially putty in his little hands...

Today he attempted to walk Brooks...even though Brooks was pretty much walking him.

Much like his father and myself, he has no shortage of emotions. Needless to say, he was beyond thrilled to have control of the leash...

Afterwards we rolled around in the grass giggling, as I made a mental note that this was a magic moment to be treasured.

How is it possibe for the heart to hold this much LOVE?

Love Month.

2010-02-01T10:44:00.000-07:00

It's officially the month of LOVE. I'm hoping that the overabundance of pinks, reds & candy hearts brings me out of my January funk.

Happy February.

Gratitude.

2010-01-27T21:28:00.028-07:00

This picture of Jackie Kennedy warms my heart. I love that she is wearing pearls and that she loves her son enough to let him pull and play with them. Lately I've been feeling incredibly grateful to be a mom. I take this job very seriously {but not in a fanatical way...we're pretty liberal around here} and think the role of a mother is so monumental in a little person's life. I melt every time I see those two little hands reach up for me...it's my dream come true every day.

In other aspects, I'm feeling quite happy about...

The buckets of rain that we've been getting. Some days I pretend that I don't even live in Arizona.

My new white shower curtain from Blueseeds, owned by my good friend Carla.

Starbucks now has one size bigger than a venti, called a trenta. I can't wait to order my iced green teas in it come June.

Chips and salsa....I can't stop eating them lately.

All the goodness that people have shown to help the poor victims in Haiti. I wish I could do so much more.

Important.

2010-01-24T14:56:00.003-07:00

I've been feeling so uninspired lately. I've had a cold for a week, that I'm pretty sure is now a sinus infection. I don't even feel like calling the dr. for an appointment because I was just there 3 weeks ago for the same thing.

I have piles of laundry everywhere and instead of folding it, I'd like to throw it all in a bag and drop it off at Goodwill.

I still haven't written thank you notes from my birthday/christmas and this stresses me out every day {I'm probably going to absolve myself and get comfortable with the fact that they are not going out this year}.

I have a pile of books I want to read, but would rather watch Bravo TV.

I had plans for a great 2010 closet clean out, but I just look at the mess and close the door.

I swore I was going to omit sugar from life {yet again} but somehow have had a little "treat" every day.

Luckily I'm feeling amazingly solid in my role as a mother. Harrison is learning and growing in front of my very eyes and every time I look at him, I literally want to eat him with a spoon. I can't believe how lucky I am that God let me be his mother. I just keep reminding myself that this is the most important thing in my life anyway, so the rest of it can wait.

My Buddy.

2010-01-14T14:00:00.001-07:00

Harrison has been my best buddy the past few weeks. About a month ago I was at my wits end with him. He was waking up every night and wanting to play from 1:30 am till 3 am. I was exhausted, fed up and starting to resent him. I talked to the pediatrician, who told me what I already knew, that he needed to just cry and put himself back to sleep. For a week we did sleep training {yet again!} and the result has been the past two weeks of sleeping through the night. I feel rested, happy and in love with him all over again.

He currently says: mama, dada, dog, papa {my grandfather}, gaga {agua = water in spanish}, night night and no, no, no. He is obsessed with cars and thinks almost everything I do is funny. He starts to bounce every time he hears music and waves to everyone he comes in contact with. He continues to blow my mind watching him develop, remember, speak and dance.

When I prayed for a baby, I had no idea that God would grant me such a gift as Harrison.

ps...Can you believe his pediatrician told me that I needed to cut his hair?!? He suggested I get him a buzz cut. I just laughed and said "NEVER"! I'm thinking of switching doctors...

Mom.

2010-01-13T16:09:00.004-07:00

My mom in 1955 at 5 years old.

Today is my amazing mother's 60th birthday. For those of you who know me in real life, you know that my mom has had an interesting ride in life. Her childhood was filled with abuse and neglect, yet she rose out of it like a phoenix {and a lot of therapy}. She is an example of resiliency at its finest.

This blog isn't big enough to hold all the things I have to say about my mom. If you knew her story and saw her today, she would truly amaze you. Most people given her circumstances, end up in prostitution, addicted to drugs/alcohol, or in prison. She was a single mom, most of my childhood, and raised me with the morals and values that have made me who I am today. She got up every day to teach 3rd graders, then came home and helped me with my homework, made dinner and put me to bed. And if I was sick in the night, she was there at my side. Now that I'm a mom...she is my hero.

She and I have had our share of disagreements, have complete opposite personalities, and for a long time I didn't understand her at all. Today as I look at who she is, woman to woman, I could cry at the beauty inside her. God truly blessed her despite her trials.

At 60 she is happy, joyful, fun, inspiring and content. For years this was all I prayed for her, and to see her now is magical...

Happy Birthday Mom.

Housekeeping.

2010-01-10T23:24:00.003-07:00

I promised myself that I was going to clean, organize and purge this weekend.

Instead I spent waaaay to much time making a new header and learning more about blogger than I ever cared to know.

Oh well...maybe I'll get around to cleaning sometime this week.

New Year.

2010-01-04T00:00:00.006-07:00

Resolution (n.) : 1. a resolve or determination. 2. the act of resolving or determining upon an action or course of action, method, procedure, etc.

Here is my 2010 attempt...

1. Be myself.

2. Laugh when I want to yell.

3. Feel comfortable in my own skin {exercise, eat well, blah, blah, blah...}

4. Only buy things of quality and necessity.

5. Have a date with my husband once a week.

6. Read 2 books a month.

7. Clear the clutter from my life {closets, guest room, garage...the list goes on and on}.

8. Take time to nurture myself.

9. Get down on the floor and play with my son more often.

10. Call my Grandfather once a week.

11. Start having dinner parties.

12. Remember that "It is never too late to become who you might have been." -George Eliot

Here's to an unbelievable New Year.

Happy Birthday Brooks.

2009-12-31T16:38:00.006-07:00

Today is Brooks' 5th Birthday. We took him out for a fun day at the Biltmore. He is such a sweet dog. He has never thought about harming Harrison, and the two get along famously. Harrison now hugs and kisses him. I was a little worried how Brooks would handle taking second fiddle, but he has adjusted perfectly.

Of course in true Brooks form, as a family came over to say hello, he preceded to throw up right in front of them. I heard the dad say, "and that is why we are not getting a dog...".

He makes my life a little more complicated, but Brooks is the best foot warmer, floor cleaner and alarm system I could ever ask for.

Happy Birthday Brooks {oh yeah...and Happy New Years!}.

Merry Christmas to All...

2009-12-25T00:22:00.002-07:00

Today is the day to eat whatever you want, take a nap if you prefer, don't answer the phone, go for a bike ride, see a movie, hang out with family you like, giggle with children and end the day watching Elf.

{Harrison's first encounter with Santa and he was only interested in this furry sleeves. Bummer we didn't get a family picture where everyone was looking at the same time}.

Merry Christmas from our home to yours...

Favorites All Around...

2009-12-24T11:34:00.000-07:00

Here are my all around favorite things that I wouldn't want to live without....

1. My family - Wouldn't want to do this life without them.

2. Personalized Stationery - I love how classic this is. I have a few different sets that I use constantly. I also have a set for Harrison that we use as thank you notes and birthday cards for little friends. The best deal I have found is here.

3. A good throw blanket - We have this in heather gray and it's what I'm wrapped up in every night on the couch.

4. Bathtub - After 5 years of living in our house, I finally have this tub installed in my bathroom. It is heaven.

5. Diptyque candles - Hands down, the best candles ever. This smell is divine and will permeate every crevice of your home. Made in Paris and never a synthetic ingredient added.

6. Pike Place coffee - What gets me going every morning with 2 tablespoons of cream.

7. Clorox wipes - These are an essential in our house. They quickly clean bathrooms, kitchens, doorknobs and disinfect after someone was sick.

8. Flip Flops - Growing up in Arizona, flip flops quickly become a part of your life. These are on my feet March through September.

9. L.L. Bean Tote Bags - My friend Carla gave one of these in navy to Harrison a while ago. It serves as everything from a diaper bag, beach bag to overnight bag.

10. Table Lamps - My favorite time of the day is dusk when all my table lamps start turning on {I have them on timers}. The light is soft and comforting.

11. Burts Bees lip balm - I end my day slathering this all over my lips. It feels amazing, is all natural and smells minty and fresh.

Merry Christmas Eve.

Favorite Songs.

2009-12-22T00:00:00.002-07:00

I love hearing other people's favorite songs. It usually leads me to iTunes to add a few to my collection. New songs on my ipod can make a mundane trip to the grocery store seem like the best car ride ever. These are songs that I can listen to over and over and usually have some significance in my life. I usually like songs that I can really feel on the inside. Here are just some of my favorites.

1. Australia - The Shins: This song is so upbeat and happy that I love it over and over every time I hear it. It's the ultimate feel good song.

2. Nothing In My Way - Keane: My friend Tricia's husband always makes a mix CD for events in our lives {new car, baby, vacation}. A couple of summers ago he made a CD for us when we were all meeting up in Laguna for a few days. This song was on it and we would listen to it while driving along the PCH with the windows down. Every time I hear it, I think of the utter bliss I felt in those moments.

3. Three Little Birds - Bob Marley: I would sing this to Harrison when he was first born and had colic. I love the words and everything it says. Ultimately everything is always alright, and I like this reminder to just trust the process.

4. Central Reservation - Beth Orton: This song has been a part of me since my days of living in New York City. I was lonely, scared and pining for the attention of someone who had other priorities. It's weird that I would hold such a song dear to my heart, but I still hear it and think of that time in my life fondly.

5. Use Somebody - Kings of Leon: This has quickly become one of my favorites this year. I love the lyrics, I love the band and I love the melody. I usually have this on repeat.

6. Wonderwall - Oasis: I've shared the significance of this song before. It will always remind me of my son and the time I spent carrying him for 9 months. I hope he grows to love it one day too.

7. We Walk the Same Line - Everything but the Girl: This was J.'s and my song at our wedding and what played while we danced for the first time as husband and wife. The lyrics are incredible about being there for each other and taking care of one another. It always reminds me to be his best friend.

8. Long Way Around - Dixie Chicks: I love them and this song reminds me that doing things your own way...always turns out to be the best in the end.

9. When You Were Young - The Killers: This song makes me feel young and happy. I can't explain more than that.

10. You Are My Sunshine - Elizabeth Mitchell: My mom sang this song to me when I was little. Now that I have my own little sunshine, I totally get. I love this version of the song and have it on all of Harrison's playlists.

Enjoy and Happy December 22nd {one of my favorite numbers}!

My Favorites.

2009-12-21T00:00:00.020-07:00

Everywhere I look lately there are lists of favorites, so it got me thinking about my own favorites. This week I'm going to be sharing my lists of favorite things. Today I'm starting with my top 10 beauty musts. Please note that I don't take myself too seriously, and I'm far from a beauty connoisseur. These are just the things that help me feel somewhat put together....

1. Shu uemera eyelash curler. I've tried going days without curling my lashes and people usually comment on how tired I look. Now I never forget to take a quick 30 seconds to curl my lashes. It brightens your whole face.

2. Aviator sunglasses. Besides the fact that the AZ sun is beyond intense, I like to wear these like a hair accessory. Especially when I've thrown my hair in a ponytail...and I can plant them on top of my head. I have a pair of Kate Spades, but my next pair will be these classic Ray Bans.

3. "Diamond" stud earrings. The fact that diamond is in quotes should tell you that you can find a quality pair of cubic zirconia and wear them with pride. People always ask me if my pair are real and I just laugh and say, "it's a long story..." that usually confuses them and they stop asking. I put these on almost every day while wearing yoga pants and a t-shirt, or just running to the grocery store. It keeps your look polished without having to do much. Nordstrom has a good line of cz studs.

4. I have hereditary dark circles under my eyes, then add sleep deprivation into the mix...I can look downright scary. I NEVER leave the house, let anyone come over or show my face to anyone outside this house, without putting concealer under my eyes. It changes my whole look. The few times I haven't put it on because I was too lazy or caught off guard, I was constantly told that I looked like I wasn't feeling well. My favorite is Bobbi Brown beige.

5. Lancome definicils mascara is the only mascara that can make my lashes look practically fake. I've spent years trying a million different brands to try and avoid paying $25 on mascara, but I always come up short and go back to my old faithful.

6. I've shared before how much I love hair accessories. When I haven't washed my hair in a few days and I want to look presentable, I throw a jeweled hair clip on with anything I'm wearing and feel better. I just treated myself to a few of these lovelies at anthropologie.

7. My new favorite lotion is Yes to Carrots body butter. I've seen it for years and wondered what it was, but didn't try it until it was on sale at Target. Now I'm hooked! It has no parabens, phthalates, or animal products, does not test of animals and uses all organic fruits and vegetables in their products. I've also used the yes to tomatoes and yes to cucumbers lotion and they all smell incredible. It doesn't have that bath and body works strong fruity smell {which if I had to wear all day would put me in the nut house}, it's subtle, natural and fresh. I'm obsessed.

8. My husband bought me this Serge Lutens perfume for our recent anniversary. I saw it at Barneys and declared it just had to be my signature scent. It reminds me of French women and has a deep amber smell that I absolutely love. I mix it with some lighter notes of orange and vanilla to create a different smell as well. I will wear this for the rest of my life and my children will think of me whenever they smell it.

9. This 1 1/2 inch curling iron has been the best thing to happen to me since Baby Einstein videos. I can let me hair dry however, and then use this to curl my top layer. It looks like I've blown out my hair with a round brush and it's taken me a 1/3 of the time. I use the 1 inch smaller one sometimes for a dramatic look.

10. This bobbi brown lip gloss is always close at hand to throw on before I get out of my car. It has the perfect texture and the color is strong without being overbearing. I use the color brown which is like a brownish pink and mimics my natural lip color. I feel so confident when I'm wearing it.

Come back tomorrow for more favorites...

Back in the Swing...

2009-12-15T22:10:00.006-07:00

We are all finally done being sick. The past week may be one of my least favorite stints, while being a mother. I never could have imagined how hard it is when everyone gets sick at the same time. Thank God for family members who were willing to come over and watch Harrison so I could feel miserable in peace.

Now that we're better, Harrison and I loaded up gifts in the red wagon and delivered goodies to our neighbors today. He was so happy to be outside and was practically screaming with glee on the ride as he pretended to talk on my cell phone.

Yesterday he was on my every last nerve. Then today I can't get enough of him.

I guess that's how this job goes...

Birthday Gratitude.

2009-12-12T13:26:00.009-07:00

Today marks my 34th year and I have a lot to be grateful for. Unfortunately, this week the stomach bug has passed through our house and I'm just now on the mend. Luckily I still have much to be happy about...

Friends that have reached out to wish me a happy day. It's so simple, but it means a lot when it's your birthday.

White twinkling Christmas lights everywhere right now.

Parents who are willing to get sick by coming over and helping me with Harrison.

A sick husband who is still trying to make my birthday special.

Brooks, my french bulldog. He doesn't get a lot of credit these days, but he is the best foot warmer when I'm sick in bed.

Being happy and healthy {in general} at 34.

I ♥ December.

2009-12-06T22:23:00.017-07:00

This weekend was spent doing Christmas activities. We went to a x-mas party, where there was a light parade. We ate cookies and sipped hot chocolate. It was really cold out {45 degrees} and it was fun to finally feel Winter here in the desert. We only listened to x-mas music and even turned the heat on for a little while.

Today we bought our tree. I never thought I'd do it, but we decided that it made more sense to buy an artificial tree this year. We just couldn't imagine life with a one year old tipping the tree over or spilling water all over the wood floors. I could just see him picking up the fallen needles and putting them in his mouth. It came down to convenience.

Luckily we spent money on getting a good one, so now I just have to buy this and I can pretend it's real.

Happy December....this is my favorite month of the year.

Magic Moments.

2009-11-30T15:53:00.003-07:00

When I experience moments of quiet connection with myself or with my loved ones...I call them magic. They are the moments that don't happen all the time, so when they do, you take notice. It's usually when Harrison stops playing for a moment, climbs in my lap and touches his forehead to mine. Or when my husband and I are in the same room, doing separate things, and he looks over and smiles at me. They can take your breath away, bring tears to your eyes, or just make you smile from the inside out.

Today's magic moment was sitting in the car with Harrison outside of the baby store. I like to watch him when I give him something new to eat, so I sat in the back while he ate his alphabet cookies. He would take a tiny little bite and then offer me a soaked bite of mushy cookie. I would oblige and thank him profusely. He took such a delight in feeding me for a change. We sat back there for quite some time while the rest of the world buzzed around us. It was quite. I was totally present, memorizing every detail of his little face and gestures for my memory bank. Nothing else mattered. It was just me and him...eating cookies.

Magic.

Goodbye Pumpkins...

2009-11-29T23:09:00.006-07:00

Better Homes and Gardens Christmas 1966...I love this!

December I feel you sneaking up on me. Pumpkins have now disappeared and I suddenly see lights on trees, jolly santas and snow scenes. I love Christmas...every year it feels magical all over again. I love getting Christmas cards from friends and seeing their cute families. I love Christmas cookies and peppermint coffee drinks. I love wrapping gifts and seeing them stacked under the tree when I pass by. I love hearing this song over and over and over....

This year is going to be a different kind of Christmas than I've ever known before. Harrison's eyes sparkle when he sees blinking lights, and he's in awe of animated moving reindeer. I won't be putting out my glass jars filled with vintage ornaments, but it's going to be a wonderfully exciting holiday season.

Thanksgiving Gratitude.

2009-11-25T11:15:00.017-07:00

This Thanksgiving, I'm feeling incredibly grateful for....

My true blue friends that I've known for years, and can trust to be there for me implicitly {you know who you are}.

Having one year of motherhood down, as a stay at home mom....I've never known such hard work.

For my sense of humor. I was at Target this week and laughed hysterically overhearing a little old man on his phone say {imagine a New Jersey accent}, "Mary...you old dog....where you been all week?"

The values that my husband and I share. We have had our share of struggles lately, but the core of who we are is so similar that it keeps working.

Footed pajamas on my son.

The way my house smells {smells are a huge deal and can make or break an environment for me}.

Last, but not least...my health. Never take for granted the fact that you can walk, run, pick up your children or hug your spouse.

Happy Thanksgiving to all.

TV Debut.

2009-11-24T10:54:00.007-07:00

Apparently I was on the Today Show this morning hugging Stephanie Nielson. It's strange sitting in your PJ's watching TV only to see yourself on the screen {I'm on around minute 1:10}.

Stephanie continues to inspire me and makes me want to be a better mom. It is incredible what she has overcome in the past year, and it's a blessing that she is able to celebrate with her family this Thanksgiving.

She makes my "hard" days look like a piece of cake.

One.

2009-11-23T11:57:00.003-07:00

I think I'm finally recovered form Harrison's first birthday.

To see details go here.

Cuddle Bug.

2009-11-18T11:39:00.006-07:00

This week I'm enjoying cuddling with a one year old in footie pajamas.

Party pictures coming soon...

On a Friday...

2009-11-13T12:07:00.005-07:00

Last year on a Friday, within a day of today, I learned the pain of bringing life into the world. I learned the amazing strength God gives to women in pain and the emotional ride of being in labor. I remember not believing he was mine when they gave him to me {I was sure he'd have brown hair...not blonde}. I've never felt so amazing after it was all done. I felt like Superwoman.

I wish I could go back and do it all over again in slow motion, so that I could really take it all in.

Happy Friday the 13th.

Man Shops Globe.

2009-11-12T11:32:00.005-07:00

In between getting Harrison's birthday party together {wait for pictures....it's going to be so darn cute!} I'm currently obsessed with the show Man Shops Globe . It is on the Sundance channel, but the episodes can also be found On Demand if you have Cox. He is the buyer at large for Anthropologie and each episode he travels to a new destination to find unique items for the store. Being that the store is one of my favs and he's traveling to places like Paris, Holland, London, and India...this show is Amazing! You get to see where a lot of the items in the store come from and where they get their ideas for products.

He seriously might have the coolest job...

Almost a Year...

2009-11-09T16:20:00.019-07:00

In less than a week, my little Harrison will turn 1 years old. I'm feeling so many emotions about it. Since I found out I was pregnant, I've been on such an incredible journey...

First, they told me that my baby might have Down Syndrome. I did what anybody could do in that situation, I prayed and dug down deep for acceptance of God's plan for J. and myself. An ultrasound revealed a perfectly healthy baby, but they still only gave me a 1 in 50 odds {originally it was 1 in 19}. I trusted my intuition that this was a healthy baby and let my fear go the remainder of my pregnancy.

Then I got gestational diabetes and had to completely change my eating. The last two months of my pregnancy were a struggle because my diet was so restricted and had to track my blood sugar constantly. It ended up being a blessing in disguise....I learned so much in that time.

During my labor, his heart rate started dropping and they were getting a little concerned. They wanted me to deliver ASAP to alleviate any complications. I ended up pushing for a hour and half {I've never been that exhausted in my entire life}. When he finally arrived and they placed him on my stomach, he was blue and not crying. I was nervous. He never cried. I was terrified. We never did hear that first cry that people refer to as a "relief" that everything is OK. Luckily he came to in his own little way and we had a healthy baby.

I had terrible postpartum and really didn't enjoy the first 2 weeks of his life. I always feel sad about that, but am so grateful that I got help when I did. My husband was a saint during those dark days...never judging, helping immensely and loving me unconditionally. I struggled personally with not being able to breastfeed on the medication, and worried about how it would affect him physically. If I only knew then what I know now....that it doesn't really matter.

I now have this amazing little boy who captures the heart of everyone he meets. He not only didn't have Down Syndrome, but God graced him with winning the genetic lottery {I can say this because I had nothing to do with it}. He is a child of God and I was just chosen to care for him. I feel so lucky and honored to be his mom. He has illuminated parts of me where I didn't even know light could go.

It's a challenge and a miracle all wrapped up in one sweet smelling, soft haired, rosy cheeked, physically active, giggling package.

I am Blessed.

Stephanie.

2009-11-07T00:00:00.003-07:00

I've been a long time reader of Stephanie Nielson's blog, and consider her one of my personal heroes. You can only imagine my delight when last night I had the honor of meeting her and Christian. Here are my take aways from our encounter....

She hugs everyone...and I mean really hugs.

Her eyes are the most beautiful color and some of the prettiest I've ever seen.

She is incredibly down to earth and genuine {telling us about future shows they'll be on, giving us the scoop on Oprah, yet hanging out in downtown Mesa}.

We had to put sanitizer on our hands before meeting them.

She is calm and graceful.

She has a great sense of style {she wore one of my personal favorites...a dress over jeans}.

When receiving compliments, she listens and really takes them in, then thanks the giver.

Her inner beauty is so radiant and powerful that it overshadows any scar she has.

She is such an inspiration.

It was a highlight of my 2009 to meet her....

Gratitude.

2009-11-06T15:43:00.011-07:00

I haven't done this in a while and, being that it is November and the month of Thanksgiving, I suppose it's time for a reminder of what makes me smile....

My son's love of music....any melody makes him dance and move.

That everyone under this roof is finally better after we all took turns being sick.

Going here with two of my favorite people tonight {without husband or baby!}.

A big backyard with lots of green grass.

Christmas music playing in stores....this year I get to experience the holiday through a 1 year old's eyes.

Happy Weekend.

James Dean.

2009-11-01T21:13:00.004-07:00

This James Dean is even cuter than the real one {if that's even possible}. Despite feeling a little under the weather, in typical Harrison fashion, he rocked his outfit and made the girls on the street swoon over his cuteness.

I already can't wait for next Halloween...

The Challenge.

2009-10-30T00:00:00.000-07:00

I love this little guy to pieces, but this week has been tough.

He started the week by falling face first into the side of the tub resulting in a swollen/bloody lip. He has whined and cried every day wanting nothing but to be held. At play groups, he is pushing kids away from a toy he wants and takes it for himself. Yesterday he turned off the computer in the middle of me writing an email. Then last night he woke up and was awake from 10:30 pm till 2:00 AM!!! I finally threw him in the car and drove around our neighborhood for 20 minutes. By the grace of God, he finally fell asleep, but was back up at 4:00 and at 6:00.....it was HELL.

When people would say that being a stay at home mom was the hardest job in the world, I used to think, "what's so hard about it?". Now I feel ridiculous. It's the most challenging job I've ever had and it lacks the praise of traditional work . My husband and I have been "discussing" my need for more validation. Some days just feel lonely....

We had a play date at our friend's, who set up a little pumpkin patch for the kids. Harrison liked eating the hay like a little farmer. This was just minutes before he knocked a playmate to the ground for the walking toy he wanted. He's kind of becoming a little punk.

Happy Halloween.

Key to Life...

2009-10-20T17:15:00.004-07:00

I love this quote sooo much and it hits me right where I'm needing it lately. I'm looking for a little more "happy" in my life. Nothing major, just the run of the mill life stress has gotten me a little blue lately.

I miss being young and having sleep overs with my friends and laughing until our stomachs hurt. I miss daydreaming out the car window while my mom drove me to dentist appointments after school. I miss eating whatever I wanted and not worrying about it.

Life gets so complicated and we lose simple happiness sometimes....I'm going to try and win it back.

Happy Friday.

2009-10-16T11:49:00.012-07:00

I can't believe it's Friday already. I've been a non-existent blogger this week. Here's what I've been busy doing....

Attending first birthday parties for Harrison's friends.

Helping my husband pick out glasses {finally....he's needed them since I met him...8 years ago}.

Taking Harrison for daily walks.

Going to the Barneys grand opening party {I don't mind that I didn't make the best dressed list. I was just happy to be wearing mascara, lipstick and shoes that killed my feet}.

A Zoo trip with good friends.

Making Harrison's birthday invites.

While consistently chasing around an active, almost walking, 11 month old. That age shift happened Wednesday....we are now one month away from a year. I feel weepy every time I think about it.

It's supposed to be 100 degrees this weekend. Where are you Autumn???

Living and Loving.

2009-10-09T11:25:00.009-07:00

Harrison loves this toy. It's his means to upright mobility right now. This toy makes it's rounds around our house constantly...all the while playing music. It has banged into every corner, runs over anything in it's path and brushes up against our custom baseboards. I secretly love the havoc it's wrecking.

This week has been so inspiring for me. Seeing Stephanie on Oprah and watching her strength and kindness left me in awe. She inspired me before her accident, and now she just has me utterly amazed. I loved hearing about the energy in her house {warm, relaxed, peaceful}....in the midst of so much going on. It's what I aspire to have for my family.

I used to be more uptight about things. Now in an effort to create a happy and relaxed home, I want the corners to get beat up and kind of like seeing scratches in the wood floor. It means we're living and having fun. I spilled coffee all over my {expensive} leather handbag on Wednesday and didn't even care. What happy freedom.

Besides, with a happy little face like this one, nothing else really matters.

Have a beautiful weekend....

Lovely Days.

2009-10-07T00:00:00.002-07:00

The weather Gods have returned and I now feel chilly when I step outside at night {hurray!}. My whole attitude changes with the weather. When it's not 110 degrees, I feel more energetic, happy and pleasant to those around me.

I've had a sick little boy the past few days and it's so hard to watch him not feel his best. He is always so happy and bright, so when he's not, it hurts me.

I'll be parked in front of my TV this afternoon {don't call me at 3pm} watching two of my favorite people. See here.

Clean Slate.

2009-10-01T08:23:00.007-07:00

I like to think that when a new month starts that it's like a blank slate to make changes. In October I resolve to...

Take nightly walks and enjoy being outside.

Spend less time on the computer and more time playing with Harrison.

Not go crazy eating Halloween candy.

Start being on time {I'm so sick of racing around....}

Call my grandfather more often.

Ask my husband about his day.

Less dreaming and more doing.

Clean up the mess at the end of the day.

Judge less and accept more.

Make time to be creative.

Regular deep breaths.

Choose happy every day.

October, I'm sooo glad to see you.

It's going to be 89 degrees today and Harrison and I are having a picnic at the park.

What I Dream About...

2009-09-29T23:31:00.005-07:00

My sweet friend Marissa, who lives in New England, sent me this amazing photo. It's a charming New England house with a big American flag hanging out front. It would make me so happy to be able to dress for Fall and to pull into this house at the end of the day.

I love to look at houses and make up stories about who lives there, and wonder what I'd be like if I lived there. I like the story for this house...

{I'm tired of Summer. Today it was 106 degrees. I'm longing for pumpkin pie, the smell of fire wood, using my crock pot and wearing cardigans.}

Balance.

2009-09-27T13:44:00.003-07:00

Balance is a tricky thing these days. I find that when I'm out of it though, everything feels crazy. I always need "recharge" time and I usually take it late at night while everyone is asleep. Unfortunately babies don't like to sleep in, so that means I usually don't get adequate sleep. This carries into being tired the next day, and crossing my heart that I'm going to bed early, only to be lured into the peacefulness of night all over again.

J. took Harrison to a baseball game this afternoon and I find myself in a quiet house with Robinella & The CC String band playing on the stereo.

I haven't had the house to myself in months...it's heaven.

Simple Truth.

2009-09-25T06:19:00.002-07:00

I like this quote.

I've been trying to work on this lately in my life. I always like myself better when I accomplish the first option...especially now that I'm somebody's mother. I always have such high regard for people who are successful at conveying strength while remaining calm.

It has so much more power...

Shabby Chic...

2009-09-15T12:07:00.004-07:00

....is back!

I received a call yesterday and an email today letting me know that the original Santa Monica store has reopened, as will the one in NYC.

I can't tell you how happy this makes me.

Shabby Chic is my design anchor.

Holiday.

2009-09-14T11:02:00.002-07:00

I use movies like medicine. After every break up from high school into college, I religiously watched When Harry Met Sally. Something about the dialogue and humor surrounding a love story, kept me hopeful and alive in the midst of pain. When I was in labor with Harrison, there was a dvd in the room, so we watched The Holiday until I received my epidural. Listening to the sweet and funny tone of this movie, calmed me enough to hold out to 3 centimeters {I'm a wimp}. This weekend The Holiday was on TV and as I watched it, the same calm feelings came back to me. This is probably going to be my labor and delivery movie.

Here is one of my favorite scenes from the movie....watch it if you have 8 1/2 minutes to kill. I love around 6:09 mins {what I wouldn't give for a little girl with an English accent!}...

If you haven't yet seen this movie, watch it...it will make you happy. My only complaint is that I wish Jude Law was like this in real life.

Gratitude.

2009-09-11T07:32:00.006-07:00

This week I'm feeling so grateful for...

Feeling healthy inside and out.

Getting to spend my days playing with a 10 month old.

Setting the timer on the coffee maker, so that when I wake up, a hot pot of heaven is waiting for me.

Infant Tylenol {there is a new tooth on the horizon for Mr. H}.

That today is peaceful and we can respectfully remember 8 years ago.

Happy Weekend.

Sixx...is now Seven.

2009-09-09T10:18:00.002-07:00

Remember way back when, I wrote about Sixx Design? My last sentence was something to the effect of "I'd love to be inside their world for a day". My wish was granted as I just read something that has my heart racing.

Come January, they have their own reality show on Bravo! I'll just add this to my already crazy Bravo TV show obsession....I can't get enough. I'm so excited to see this family in action. Since I mentioned them last February, they have added a seventh child to the mix. I'm in awe.

Go to their website under blogs and scroll to the very last one, and there sits a link to my funny little blog. I feel like the cool kids asked me to sit at their lunch table.

Goodbye Summer....

2009-09-06T18:18:00.006-07:00

Labor day typically signals the end of Summer. I always feel like the arrival of Fall here, is like Spring in cold climates. There is finally a break to horrendous weather, everything feels lighter and everyone smiles again. I feel like making fresh starts, purging old things and baking banana bread. I start to feel hopeful and happy again...

Goodbye Summer. I won't miss you.

Happy Labor Day.

September.

2009-09-01T21:51:00.005-07:00

Dean and Deluca in NYC...one of my absolute favorite places.

Today marks the beginning of September, and soon an end to living in a burning oven. September makes me think of apples and pumpkins. This is when I really wish that I lived somewhere cold and could visit apple orchards, spell crisp morning air and sip hot coffee at Noon.

Realizing that today brings us one step closer to cold weather...makes me giddy.

Charmed.

2009-08-30T23:52:00.007-07:00

Last year my friend Keri and I took a class on stamping charms. I made a necklace for myself with my loved ones, and recently I made one for Tricia who just had little baby William. For some reason, it took me around 10 tries to get the "william" disk to look remotely normal. I was running to the jewelry supply store every day while my husband just shook his head laughing.

Luckily, Tricia got her package in the mail this weekend and she loves it.

Madness.

2009-08-26T00:36:00.004-07:00

I love Annie Leibovitz photography and I'm obessed with Mad Men, so these pictures in Vanity Fair are my idea of perfection.

This show makes the 1950's look so glamorous yet uncomplicated.

I could use a little of that in my life...

Gratitude.

2009-08-21T00:00:00.002-07:00

I love this picture...I dream of sitting there with my good friends drinking cold beverages with not a care in the world. Summer is almost over and I'm feeling grateful for...

Starbucks Pike Place coffee...it's so good.

Harrison's jumper {it gives me a little break and wears him out simultaneously}.

That when I make Harrison cry himself to sleep at night, he doesn't hate me in the morning.

Living close to family and friends.

A healthy body.

The Life.

2009-08-19T00:45:00.007-07:00

Just another day in the life of a little boy that always seems to leave the grocery store with a free balloon.

Then spends the rest of the afternoon crawling around holding onto it while giggling.

I could seriously kiss him forever and ever.

I feel so lucky to be his mom.

Joining the Club...

2009-08-11T12:26:00.002-07:00

One of my closest, dearest and best friends had her first baby, William, on Friday. It means so much to me because she told me she was pregnant when Harrison was just 5 days old, and I was newly home from the hospital. My hormones were raging and I started crying uncontrollably when she shared her news. I was so happy to know that she would get to experience what I had just embarked on and that she would join me in the "mommy club".

No one can prepare you for the instinctual, maternal, natural love that you will feel when you have a baby. It's been so hard for the past nine months to not be able to fully share with her my feelings on being a mom and the love I have for Harrison...because she just wasn't there yet.

Yesterday she told me that she is so in love. She said that every time she looks at him she can't believe that he is hers and that she gets to take him home. I'm so happy she is a part of the club now.

Congratulations Tricia....your heart is forever changed.

{Side note: Tricia and I are exactly 9 months apart and have known each other since 2nd grade....she is September and I'm December. Now William and Harrison are exactly nine months apart...August and November. Too weird.}

Firsts.

2009-08-10T19:57:00.008-07:00

We've just returned from our first family vacation. It was exhausting. I naively brought books and magazines thinking there would be time to relax and catch up on reading. Without the conveniences of home, a trip with a 9 month old is anything but relaxing.

In addition our rental did not have air conditioning and it was unusually warm, which meant our dog Brooks came everywhere with us. Between Harrison and Brooks, J. and I felt like we were working nonstop {we kept joking saying, "nobody told us this was a work trip"}. The first few days were emotional because I was realizing that vacations as I knew them, were no longer a reality.

Luckily it was still wonderful to get away and see the ocean. Harrison enjoyed the beach and loved having Brooks with us constantly. We found our groove and by mid week and I found the joy in the new version of our vacations. We spent our time eating frozen yogurt, sipping coffee, watching the ocean, dining outside, shopping in new places....all with the people I love the most.

I've never been more excited to be home, though.

Heart.

2009-07-28T09:55:00.005-07:00

I never knew Love like this existed until now....

He just started saying "mama".

Gratitude.

2009-07-22T11:00:00.007-07:00

My attitude has been a little sour lately, so here's a list to remember what I'm grateful for...

My husband and his devotion to our family.

That I woke up yesterday to rain and thunder.

Friends with kids who can relate to the joys and frustrations of motherhood.

Learning that swimming in the afternoon helps Harrison sleep 12 hours straight.

Watching NYC Prep and knowing my kids will never be that obnoxiously rich and arrogant at 17.

That I have a healthy and active son {who also enjoys watching Noggin...thank God}.

Iced lattes.

How fun it is to live here September through May.

Hearing Harrison say "Dada" for the first time last Tuesday.

Having Yogurtland coming to my neighborhood next week.

Motherhood is Not for Wimps...

2009-07-21T00:00:00.007-07:00

I've been challenged lately. Last week Harrison decided to wake up several times a night and stay awake for long stretches. I would rock him, give him a bottle, give him Tylenol thinking that he was teething...but finally I would just give up and bring him into bed with me. By Friday I was a mess. I was exhausted and beyond frustrated. I would cry at the drop of a hat...thinking that this was going to be my life from here on out.

Luckily I have some phenomenal friends and resources who helped me pick myself up and figure out a plan. Friday night J. and I plotted out our ideas and set out to make a change. Harrison woke up like clockwork at 1:30 am. We did the unthinkable and let him cry for 1/2 hour. It was torture and I got a terrible stomach ache listening to my baby in despair. Finally J. went in and soothed him without picking him up. It took another 1/2 but he finally went to sleep. Since then he is learning that we aren't going to come running when he cries so he gives up much easier and puts himself back to sleep. Last night was magical with him sleeping from 7:30 pm to 7:30 am.

This is one of my least favorite parts of motherhood. It's so counter intuitive to hear your baby crying, albeit screaming, and not run to save them. For a long time, I refused to let him cry. It felt so wrong and went against who I am as a mother. My job is to save, nurture and protect him.

The realization that my current method wasn't working came to a head last week. I was feeling resentful, aggravated and irritable with him all week....and that's not the kind of mother I want to be either. I still get a pit in my stomach when I hear him cry over the monitor, but I'm learning to trust that it's best for him to soothe himself and allow me to rest peacefully, too.

Here's to a new routine and a happier baby....

Picnic.

2009-07-18T23:12:00.002-07:00

Only Slim Aarons could make a picnic in the desert look so quaint.

I miss cool weather and sweaters...

Summer.

2009-07-12T13:59:00.002-07:00

So far, this has been a tough summer. No one ever warned me about being couped up, when it's 112 degrees outside, with a 8 month old ACTIVE baby. Some days I feel like I'm going crazy! I wish we could be outside for a walk or even running errands without feeling like I'm going to die. I keep telling myself that this will pass and he'll get easier and the weather will get nicer.

Luckily I have good friends who let me come over to their houses while their kids entertain Harrison.

Baby Proof.

2009-07-01T14:49:00.000-07:00

Little H. is officially crawling like a big boy and is all over the house. This weekend, we started baby proofing. We kept looking at each other like "do we really have to put this in our house?" but realized it was necessary when Harrison fell into the corner of the coffee table and got a marble sized bump on his forehead. I keep telling J. that it's important and that it won't be there forever. It's weird to see your house change.

Harrison is so proud of his crawling and makes it look like no big deal. I kind of hope my next baby takes their time in this department...it's exhausting.

Gratitude.

2009-06-28T14:30:00.005-07:00

Lately I've been feeling so grateful for...

Good friends, near and far, that are like family to me.

Knowing we are heading to the beach this summer {can't wait to see Harrison's reaction}.

That my son is 7 months old and treasuring all the moments of cuddling with him.

My home...I love to be inside and pretend that I live somewhere else when it's 108 outside.

Having my health {recent current events have reminded me how precious life really is}.

Boy.

2009-06-24T22:52:00.005-07:00

Exactly one year ago today, at 18 weeks pregnant, I found out that I was having a boy. I knew it all along, but was so happy when they confirmed it for me on the screen. I called him by his name right away, and wondered every day who he would look like and who he would be.

7 months into this job, I've fallen so in love with everything about him...the good and the bad. He is completely laid back, throws his pacifier when he's done with it, laughs at everything, only drinks his water through a straw, and completely trusts his dad and I. He is already crawling, standing up at the coffee table, walking around the perimeter of his crib and constantly moving. It's exhausting and exciting to spend my days with him. Thinking back to one year ago, I can't believe I didn't know him yet.

He's this girl's dream come true...

Someday.

2009-06-14T23:59:00.009-07:00

I'm already practicing my lines for what I'm going to say to the girls who will be calling here for him one day...

June?

2009-06-02T00:39:00.015-07:00

How is it June already? It was just Valentine's Day and then I blinked and here we are.

My days are filled with baby laughter, then crying {teething}, 45 minutes naps {wish they were 2 hours} and trying a whole new range of baby foods. I'm not partial to AZ summers and usually get depressed the way those that live in the Midwest get in winter. To keep my spirits up, here are some summer things that I'm looking forward to...

Harrison getting baptized {he has the best godparents} and it's a really good reason to get cake.

Taking small trips to CA with our new gang of 3 {4 including Brooks}.

That ridiculous show Wipeout that keeps J. and I laughing for an hour.

I miss the Housewives of NYC but the Housewives of New Jersey are doing their part to fill in the gaps...it's pretty hilarious.

Starting swim lessons with Harrison, infant massage, and baby sign language classes {I can not sit home all summer and feel sorry for myself that I live in an oven}.

Reading a few good books.

Two of my good friends having babies!

Watermelon.

Finally having a few frozen yogurt places close by. {I've been lobbying for years to get some yogurt shops in our area...now that they are here, you can't even find a place to sit!}

Hanging out at our new favorite neighborhood spot. If you ride your bike, the first pint is free {although I won't be riding my bike anywhere when it's triple digits}.

Happy June.

Sweet Surprises.

2009-05-20T17:54:00.010-07:00

Every Wednesday J. takes the afternoon off and spends it with Harrison. I feel so lucky that he is able to do this and that Harrison gets that special time with him. It's truly created a wonderful bond between them and has given J. an appreciation for how I spend my days.

Today J. was coming home and I was going to get a pedicure with my mom, as one of her Mother's Day gifts. We went to Sundrops and had the best time reading magazines, drinking ice tea and having our toes done. When I went to pay for both of us, the woman said to me "Actually your services have already been taken care of. Your husband stopped in earlier and said that you two are welcome to get manicures as well." I was like "Are you serious?" So, we had manicures too, and gushed about what a sweet husband I have. I love little surprises like this...they make me feel adored.

On the way home I stopped and got him a cappuccino and chocolate croissant from LGO as a thank you. He's far from perfect, but sometimes I remember why I fell for him and why I love him so much. I'm so glad he's the example for my son.

To see how he surprised me on Mother's Day go here.

Painting my Toes.

2009-05-17T12:18:00.003-07:00

I've been a little distant from this blog lately. Who knew that having a 6 month old was almost more work than having a newborn?!? Fortunately, it's a lot more fun and spending my days with him is my dream come true. Unfortunately, when I do get some free time, I'm usually trying to paint my toes, do laundry, grocery shop, clean the house, put on makeup, read a magazine or watch a recorded Oprah, The Office or Real Housewives of NYC.

Uh oh...break time is over. I hear crying from across the house.

See you soon.

I am a Mom...

2009-05-10T00:00:00.001-07:00

This adorable little human made me a Mom 6 months ago. It's the wild ride everyone warns you about...challenging, warm, frustrating, lovely, exhausting and most of all fulfilling. My life is complete now that I'm a Mom. I've always longed to be the someone that comforted a little soul in the middle of the night, and be the one who looks down to see two little arms raised up begging to be held.

Now, I am.

As I bring Harrison into our bed around 2-3:00 am, I feel his little hands reach for my face to make sure I'm close by. He then sighs and settles back to sleep, comforted by the fact that I'm near.

I hope one day he knows how much comfort his presence has brought me. He's made my world.

Happy Mother's Day.

Gratitude.

2009-05-05T22:29:00.005-07:00

I've been a bit frazzled lately, but am still grateful...

For a mom that calls in the middle of a meltdown, and immediately comes over with a Paradise Bakery sandwich and helps with my fussy baby.

That I get to celebrate my first Mother's day this Sunday. It's hard, but it's hands down my favorite job I've ever had.

That I get to live in my house...I still walk in the door and smile.

That I'm married to a partner that is as committed as I am to making it the long haul.

For my son and the way I catch him watching me while smiling. I will always hold his dreamy gaze in my heart.

My Winnings.

2009-05-01T12:56:00.002-07:00

Remember when I told you I won this? Well, here is one of my winnings. To see the rest, go here.

Happy Weekend.

Amazing Photos.

2009-04-28T12:28:00.001-07:00

I saw these amazing family photos on Design Mom and could swear I'm looking at a J.crew ad. They took them in Central Park before they move across the country. What a great way to capture a time in their lives.

I love the kids standing on books! How creative and adorable.